Blue morning Blue day....

Today I had to put Tigger down. She has been getting really skinny and weak. Sunday she threw up everything she ate, and yesterday I took her to the vet because she looked like she was going to die.
She was going to die. The vet didnt even have to run any tests to know by looking at her and checking her eyes and mouth, she had end stage renal failure. She was massively dehydrated, she said Tigger's eyes were even sunken in. She also said her breathing was very labored and she was working very hard to breathe. She told me if she was going to try to put in an IV for fluids, she would have to "tap" her lungs first to see if there was fluid in her lungs, because she was breathing so badly, and that that might even kill her.
She told me that she had so many things going wrong, including the fact the that she hadn't eaten since Sunday, that even if we aggresively treated her and put her in the hospital IF she lived through IVs and diagnostics, her chances of survival were 10 - 15%. She recommended I go home and think about what to do but she highly recommended putting her to sleep, because otherwise she was starving to death.
I don't think it's fair I should have to choose if she dies and when. I prayed God would take her before I had to make the decision, but he didnt. She was purring and trusting and I let them kill her. The choice was let her suffer and starve to death or help her go. I can't make the decision for a person why can I make that decision for my baby Tigger? I HATE it. I did it, I held her and she went to sleep forever.

I hate this day.