Thursday, February 5, 2009
James' health
I am so frustrated. I don't know what else we can do for poor James. His Prednizone makes him moody, he's in pain, he's miserable and the doctor keeps telling him just eat a low salt diet! He is on a practically NO salt diet. He eats rice, vegtables, fruits, malt o meal, occationally a piece of meat cut up in his stir fry... meat we get from the butcher shop so it isnt loaded with sodium. He wont eat bread or anything that says it has 4% or sodium or more. He watches how much of it he consumes a day. But then he gets pissed because he has doubled and tripled his Lasix for the swelling and it still wont go down. The doctor probably thinks he's lying about what he's eating. I know.
He has a real bad cough.. probably bronchitis again. His mood is terrible. He wants to be taken out back and shot. He's so ready to die and get it over with. He even told his Nephrologist his mental health was deterioating and the dontor said, "that's the prednizone". That's nice DO something. Give him an anti depressant or something. If you can't make the swelling go down. He also told James," well get the Cyclosporine". Which is the one that is $205/month and he/we havent been able to get for over 5 months. He had it the month Kenny bought it and one other month. But the child support takes so much out of his check he barely has enough left over for gas and cigarettes, and the medicine he is taking. He's not even his car payment or insurance. He doesnt have a bank account anymore. He buys vegtables and fruit every time he gets paid along with rice and Maltomeal. Carroll has learned a lot about cooking low sodium and we change it to no sodium so he is actually getting real real low sodium.
I called the nurse line today and worked out with them the amount of grams of protein he shold be eating since the doctor wont be specific. He says his Bun and Cretinin levels are not that bad and the kidneys arent getting any worse right now. But this DAMN Nephrotic syndrome is gonna kill him!
I finally took some pictures of his legs to show you. I will be researching some more and sending the pics to doctors online if I have to.
I gotta go.
He has a real bad cough.. probably bronchitis again. His mood is terrible. He wants to be taken out back and shot. He's so ready to die and get it over with. He even told his Nephrologist his mental health was deterioating and the dontor said, "that's the prednizone". That's nice DO something. Give him an anti depressant or something. If you can't make the swelling go down. He also told James," well get the Cyclosporine". Which is the one that is $205/month and he/we havent been able to get for over 5 months. He had it the month Kenny bought it and one other month. But the child support takes so much out of his check he barely has enough left over for gas and cigarettes, and the medicine he is taking. He's not even his car payment or insurance. He doesnt have a bank account anymore. He buys vegtables and fruit every time he gets paid along with rice and Maltomeal. Carroll has learned a lot about cooking low sodium and we change it to no sodium so he is actually getting real real low sodium.
I called the nurse line today and worked out with them the amount of grams of protein he shold be eating since the doctor wont be specific. He says his Bun and Cretinin levels are not that bad and the kidneys arent getting any worse right now. But this DAMN Nephrotic syndrome is gonna kill him!
I finally took some pictures of his legs to show you. I will be researching some more and sending the pics to doctors online if I have to.
I gotta go.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Blue morning Blue day....
Today I had to put Tigger down. She has been getting really skinny and weak. Sunday she threw up everything she ate, and yesterday I took her to the vet because she looked like she was going to die.
She was going to die. The vet didnt even have to run any tests to know by looking at her and checking her eyes and mouth, she had end stage renal failure. She was massively dehydrated, she said Tigger's eyes were even sunken in. She also said her breathing was very labored and she was working very hard to breathe. She told me if she was going to try to put in an IV for fluids, she would have to "tap" her lungs first to see if there was fluid in her lungs, because she was breathing so badly, and that that might even kill her.
She told me that she had so many things going wrong, including the fact the that she hadn't eaten since Sunday, that even if we aggresively treated her and put her in the hospital IF she lived through IVs and diagnostics, her chances of survival were 10 - 15%. She recommended I go home and think about what to do but she highly recommended putting her to sleep, because otherwise she was starving to death.
I don't think it's fair I should have to choose if she dies and when. I prayed God would take her before I had to make the decision, but he didnt. She was purring and trusting and I let them kill her. The choice was let her suffer and starve to death or help her go. I can't make the decision for a person why can I make that decision for my baby Tigger? I HATE it. I did it, I held her and she went to sleep forever.
I hate this day.
She was going to die. The vet didnt even have to run any tests to know by looking at her and checking her eyes and mouth, she had end stage renal failure. She was massively dehydrated, she said Tigger's eyes were even sunken in. She also said her breathing was very labored and she was working very hard to breathe. She told me if she was going to try to put in an IV for fluids, she would have to "tap" her lungs first to see if there was fluid in her lungs, because she was breathing so badly, and that that might even kill her.
She told me that she had so many things going wrong, including the fact the that she hadn't eaten since Sunday, that even if we aggresively treated her and put her in the hospital IF she lived through IVs and diagnostics, her chances of survival were 10 - 15%. She recommended I go home and think about what to do but she highly recommended putting her to sleep, because otherwise she was starving to death.
I don't think it's fair I should have to choose if she dies and when. I prayed God would take her before I had to make the decision, but he didnt. She was purring and trusting and I let them kill her. The choice was let her suffer and starve to death or help her go. I can't make the decision for a person why can I make that decision for my baby Tigger? I HATE it. I did it, I held her and she went to sleep forever.
I hate this day.
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